Russian woman and her loneliness.
Why so many Russian women are now deliberately not meet with anyone, and they say, “it is better to be alone than with anyone?”
This disappointment in men or it could affect injury after breaking up?What does it mean when a beautiful Russian woman says she gave up on men? This means that her soul is fear recurrence of pain from relationships with men. And when the pain is stronger than fear of loneliness, a Russian woman chooses absolutely refuse relationship because it excludes and unpleasant feelings. There is no relationship – no problem. Very often, when the girls meet my mother’s friend or their own they they are asked: “Do you have a young man, and married not going?” Why is it so often asked questions like, did the presence of men in a particular way is an indication of the consistency and success ?
Despite the change in society, many traditions remain, and continue to influence people. Earlier marriage to a Russian woman was indeed an indicator of success and viability as a wife and mother. Now it is not only what can be engaged in the life of a woman. It can make a career, travel, engage in self-development and even decide to raise a child, but in our culture, yet there is a belief that is transmitted from generation to generation, that the most important success woman – is held as a wife and mother.
There is a myth among girls, “if you do not get married right now (20-25 years), then it will be much more difficult to choose a partner, because there will be more claims to the candidate? Surely, they say, the sooner the better, or need an informed choice?
This myth is the base. When she is young, she is still full of romantic expectations. Many of us have been brought up on fairy tales that end with the words: “They got married and lived happily ever after and died in one day,” so it seems that the most beautiful thing starts after the march by Mendelssohn. Often wishful thinking, and she is ready to marry him in whom love at the moment, when it seems the case. Love draws a beautiful romantic image of a happy collaboration and peaceful life with “almost perfect man.” The reality is often somewhat different – there is a shared way of life, changing lifestyles and spouses have to live with a real person, who has not only advantages, but also disadvantages. The result could be that people are not willing to adapt to each other or to new roles – there are mutual resentment for unjustified expectations and mismatch of the ideal image and the real. It is because of confounding expectations due to the romantic notions of marriage or partner, early marriages often fall apart.
Russian lady at a later age, having been in a relationship with different partners, and realizing what a man is right for her, what’s really important in a relationship and living together, can make a conscious choice to men and to create a strong marriage, being prepared for it. Myth here can work, if the girl does not appear to experience the realities of adoption of cohabitation with a man, and a large number of claims for and list the qualities of her ideal that can not be found in nature. Then, indeed, very difficult to get married, because “men are extinct, but for anybody, I do not want to get married.” In this case, if the girl is understanding the major qualities that she needs a husband, and a willingness to accept his faults and love for what it is, then it is very much of a chance to create a strong family at any age.
Why, for example, in the U.S. and throughout Europe, the women start a family and give birth, somewhere in their 30s. And our girls try to jump down the aisle soon, whether we are moving to the European model, and whether it is in our country?
Later marriage in the United States and Europe are mainly related to education and career women and men, they tend to get a family. The trend in Russia, in my opinion, is this: those who are interested in self-realization in the society, will marry and marry all later, but those who are interested in self-realization in the family, will create a family at the age of 20-25 years. That is, Russia, as always, in the middle between East and West.
What about the choice of partners for women in other countries, what attitude to those around a single woman?
In the East is still the choice of partner for the girl’s parents strongly influence and marriages there are patriarchal. In this case, the husband to the wife is not “the only light in the window,” contrary to the Western woman who wants to see in him and her lover, and friend, and sponsor and partner in the joint pastime. For the women of the East husband – a status, but most of the time she spends in the circle of other women. Therefore, a good husband – the one who does not beat and bring money into the house, and all their emotional needs, the wife meets with other women. In the West, the choice of partner is very important, because women are so many expectations it from her husband. Sometimes she wants a man combined the incongruous quality – was a strong man and a friend with whom you can go shopping, make money and arranged for her romantic evenings. Trying to find someone who covers all her needs, Western woman looking for a long time, “her man.”
There are women who have children for themselves and raise them without fathers, and it is their conscious choice. Whether they are selfish or single woman is fully capable to raise a child for two?
Not really understand the term self-interest in this situation. To me it’s simple: if one woman can raise a child and she was a conscious choice – it’s perfect!
When a woman is a single mother, she chooses a man for himself, or that he liked the child? How to set the right priorities in this situation?
I think a woman should choose a man for himself, taking into account the views of the child. It is often a protest child related to his fear of the loss of a mother’s love, not the qualities of a particular person. If a child is feeling that now love has increased with the introduction of a new family member, then all will be fine. Children are a good indicator of the true feelings of a man to a woman, unless you consider a situation where the failure of male child is to draw attention to his mother.